It’s an addiction, what I do. I can’t help myself.
Well, if I’m really being honest, I can help myself. It’s just really hard and I really enjoy it, so I just choose not to. It’s easier and more fun to give in.
I probably shouldn’t do it. In fact, I’m pretty darn sure I shouldn’t. But I don’t care enough to stop.
Does that make me a bad person? Does that make me sinful, evil? Does addiction always have to be a bad thing? Maybe I’m deluding myself, but I think addiction is ok, as long as it’s not hurting anyone.
Sure, the argument can be made that every addiction hurts someone in at least a teensy tiny way. But come on. Realistically, a smoker isn’t really hurting anyone else if he’s smoking outside far away from other people. A junkie would die eventually anyway, just like the rest of us, so his OD is only making his loved ones mourn a bit sooner.
Yeah, I know. That’s pretty cold. I’m not heartless, just… Ach, who am I kidding? I’m pulling things out of my ass just to justify my own addiction. I can’t rationalize my way out of a wet paper bag, let alone this. I have to face facts. I’m an addict, and that’s all there is to it.
I know they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. But other than my hemorrhaging wallet, I don’t see a problem. And the wallet’s so easy to refill. So really, no problem at all. And that’s not denial. That’s truth. Fact. The way it is. Loose grip on reality, my ass. That shrink doesn’t know jack diddly.
If I stop now, everything will just get worse. If I don’t stop, things won’t get any better, but they’re not so bad now so I can live with that. Sameness. Sameness isn’t so bad. It’s familiar, comfortable. I like it.
That settles it. I’m not quitting. Give me the full package. I want it all, the works. I’m treating myself.
I am a shopaholic, and I’m fine with that.
“Ma’am, all I wanted to know is if you wanted to switch your phone service.”
This is a response to this week’s Indie Ink Writing Challenges. My prompt came from Kirsten Doyle: “Tell the story of a telemarketing call that takes a very surprising turn.”
I issued a prompt to Amanda: “Tell us a good old-fashioned ‘once upon a time’ story.”